damn blues and freaking hope: two christmas trees

by christie shumate mcelwee

Christmas. To many it is a time of bright lights and colorful presents and joyful noise unto the world. To others it can be a difficult, and even blue time of the year. One is bombarded with jolly messages and flocks of red and green, but these things can be reminders of things lost or broken. Often, the heart can’t take all this forced Christmas cheer.

Then came 2020. 

Plans altered. Trips postponed. Family gatherings changed. More and more of us are experiencing those damn blues.

Not even Hallmark movies that depict the “perfect” small town Christmas, complete with caroling townspeople and a magical Santa, can lift our spirits. The onslaught of heart-wrenching songs such as “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” or “Please Come Home for Christmas” that focus on missing loved ones who are far away during the holiday season bring ugly sobs when heard on the radio. Even holiday classics like It’s a Wonderful Life reinforce our blue funks.

Instead of cheerful, we feel melancholy. Our expectations are way out of whack with reality. We are gloomy, even when surrounded by holiday lights. Crawling in a dark closet and staying there until February sounds surprisingly appealing.

How do we combat the 2020 holiday blues? There’s tons of advice out there. Exercise. Eat well. Drink more water than alcohol. Step away from the news. Simplify. Learn to say no. Have gratitude for what you have instead of focusing on what is missing.

Blah. Blah. Blah. Sometimes you just have to sit with the damn blues.

Me? In our old house, I had a blue Christmas tree. We’d tramp out to the tree farm for a real one that went in the family room, and the artificial tree was set up in what was the living room and eventually became my writing office. This was the tree I decorated with all the blue and silver bulbs and ornaments I  collected over the years. It sparkled and glittered and reminded me that even when I was glum during this crazy season, I had only to look at this shimmering tree to experience joy.

This strange year I’ve decorated two outside trees. One is my blue tree. I tried to put colored lights on it, but experienced an electrical shock when I attempted to use an old extension cord. I believe it was just another one of 2020’s messages to me, so no lights this year, just blue and silver globes. I also decided to place stars and sparkling snowflakes on our “little tree that could.” This fierce guy came back from the brink of death after I watered and sang and danced around it during quarantine. It is a reminder that even in the darkest of times, we must keep freaking hope in our hearts. 

I find Brave Joy in both “Charlie Brown Christmas” trees. They remind me to breathe, slow down, and acknowledge the blues (and hope) are part of the human condition.

    “And when those blue snowflakes start falling

    That’s when those blue memories start calling

    You’ll be doin’ all right, with your Christmas of white

    But I’ll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas.” 

    –Blue Christmas Songwriters: Billy Hayes and Jay W. Johnson

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