You’ve Always Had the Power, My Dear

It is the second Monday of the first month of this new year. The cinnamon sprinkled in my coffee gives me pause. I wait for it to brew as I contemplate my place in this land of ours. Who am I? Where are my brains? Where is my heart? Where is my courage? They are all here. I possess all three, yet there are many times I feel like that stumbling straw man or a creature made of hollow tin or a cringing ball of matted fur. I doubt my own worth. I believe the little man behind the curtain who bellows falsehoods and bullies the trembling. 

But…on this second Monday of the first month of a new year I gather my pink words and step forward with the burnt broom recovered from the wreckage. I muster my power and no longer quiver. A rumbling begins, soft at first but gaining momentum because these words are life. They are mine and only mine. I own them with my brain and my heart and my courage.

A twister didn’t have to drop my sorry ass on the yellow brick road in order to find my awakening. The sepia tones have transformed into freaking technicolor and it is stunning in its clarity. The cinnamon coffee is a magical brew. With each word written the flying monkeys scatter. Oh, they still hover, but I swat them away with a quick flick of my pink pen.

That scared gingham-clad girl is standing taller and speaking louder. Glinda the Good Witch whispers, “You had the power all along, my dear,” and I spy those fabulous ruby slippers. Damn, I’ve had them on all this time! I click my heels three times and summon the magic that has been smuggled in my frightened luggage of a soul.

The sun is out today. It shimmers on the frosted grass. Even on a frigid day its rays make it appear warmer.

So I gather up my brains and heart and courage, inspired by a bright star that lit up the the night sky the night before. I will write feverishly crazy colliding pink words. I will love with painful, gorgeous, wretched laughter-filled tears. I will summon my spirit even as my knees tremble with exquiste terror.

Because I am Dorothy. I am the Wicked Witch. I am Glinda. I am those damn ruby slippers. I am a stronger, more powerful version of me, skipping fearlessly into those poppy fields, not afraid of snowy dreams.

“For I consider brains far superior to money in every way. You may have noticed that if one has money without brains, he cannot use it to his advantage; but if one has brains without money, they will enable him to live comfortably to the end of his days.” 
― L. Frank BaumThe Wonderful Wizard of Oz

“A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others” 
― L. Frank BaumThe Wonderful Wizard of Oz

“You have plenty of courage, I am sure,” answered Oz. “All you need is confidence in yourself. There is no living thing that is not afraid when it faces danger. The true courage is in facing danger when you are afraid, and that kind of courage you have in plenty.” 
― L. Frank BaumThe Wonderful Wizard of Oz

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